Suicide

There's always some reason for not wanting to go on. Have you ever felt like nothing could ever get better? I know lots of people get temporary depression from things like fights with parents or breaking up with boyfriends/girlfriends, but that really isn't a reason to be depressed. One fight with your parents because they wouldn't let you go to a dance is nothing.

But, if you've had depression since you were a little kid, as I have, not a lot can be argued on the level of suicidal thoughts. My happiness comes directly from the happiness of others and the praise I get for making others happy. When someone is sad, it makes me sad. If I'm sad, then being reminded that I make others feel better make me feel better, too. Of course, there are those few who I'd be happy seeing miserable..

Brooke, Andrew..

To name a few.. Shall we go on a hunting spree?

Not to mention the fact that those people make my life shit. So I don't really care about them. Their misery is my happiness.

Why I'm depressed? To name a few things, I just attended a funeral. Cami.. I loved him, I'll talk about him later.. I found out a friend of mine is really sick.. I'm worried about her. Donald has taken up smoking, much to my dismay. I don't get to see my boyfriend, Bobby, as much as I'd like to, and I miss him. I'm slowly going insane, I swear. I think I'm seeing things and that fucking scares me. Oh yeah, to top it all off I feel like shit 24/7.

Oh well, hopefully things will get better. But that bottle of Tylenol keeps looking more and more friendly...